Just like a toothache, there are certain problems in life that a wait n’ see approach will not resolve. In fact, waiting will make them worse. A minor toothache can eventually become a serious problem. What starts out as a small cavity can become a need for a root canal if you wait too long!
The same is true with emotional, relational and spiritual problems. What could be an easy change in attitude and direction, and healing through applying Scriptural truths and prayer, can become a much more complicated and time consuming process as these problems will continue to grow and negatively affect other areas of your life.
The follow is a list of ten ways to know when you should talk to a counselor:
1.) You talked to your friends and family and it has not helped.
2.) You feel overwhelmed.
3.) You feel like your life is out of control.
4.) You are depressed and/or anxious (for more that 2-3 weeks).
5.) You haven’t felt like yourself for quite awhile.
6.) You feel “stuck.”
7.) You feel distant from others (and maybe even God).
8.) You feel stressed out and/or weary.
9.) You need understanding and guidance.
10.) You just need someone to talk to who will listen.
If you are struggling to overcome anything on this list, Proverbs 11:14 encourage us that “Where there is no counsel, the people fail; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Counseling rooted in the Scriptures can be the answer to your personal problems that can give you positive changes and permanent results.
Don’t wait any longer! The beginning of a new year is a good time to start no matter how long you’ve had the problem. I can’t offer you novocaine 
, but I can help you to make the changes in your life that will give you relief from your worries and pain. Contact me today at drhelena@drhelenaonline.com or 561-744-2011 for a Skype or in-person appointment. I am looking forward to meeting with you.
Blessings, dr.helena
P.S. Post a question or comment by clicking on the word “comments” below.
Everyone will wrestle with at least a few major decisions in their lifetime that will cause a lot of anxiety. For example, the decision could be about whether to get married, make a large purchase such as a home or car, or move out of state for a new job. The answers, even after prayers for guidance, don’t come quickly or easily. That’s okay! Making tough decisions are meant to help us stretch our faith, and grow more mature and confident. We shouldn’t avoid these types of decisions just because it may become a difficult process.
The following wise suggestions are offered by Dr. Bruce Urich, Dean of Florida Christian University. My favorite is number six. This is a faith stretcher, which will improve your personal relationship with the Holy Spirit and fine tune your spiritual ears.
“As part of my master’s degree at Temple University in Educational Psychology (Counseling and Guidance, Psychological Testing and Group Dynamics) I learned a very secular way to decide if a decision is the right one or not “are you willing to live with the consequences of your decision? If so, then, for you, it is a good decision.” While this is only a secular idea, it may be helpful for those who are unwilling to take the longer Christian way to make a decision!
Here is a list which shows the total contrast with how a Christian should make a decision:
1. Is it in line with the Scriptures?
2. Has it been bathed in prayer over a period of time?
3. Is it Godly? Is it helpful? Is it necessary?
4. Does it seem to fit in with what you have so far ascertained as God’s plan for your life, or is it a rabbit trail, leading you away from God’s plans for you?
5. Have you discussed this with valued Christian counselors and prayed with them?
6. This is not “What would Jesus do?” but rather, “What would Jesus have me do?”
7. Are we willing to face Jesus on His throne in His total purity and power, with this on your record?”
Whatever tough decisions you are facing today, I hope this list helps you find the answers. Overcome frustration by accepting the fact that God did not create you as an island able to make all your decisions by yourself. Search the Word of God in prayer, and seek wise counsel. Then, you will succeed in doing His will and find peace.
Blessings, dr.helena
Website: www.drhelenaonline.com
email: drhelena@drhelenaonline.com
“Well, Laurie, your test is positive,” I said tentatively. “Have you made any decisions about what you’re going to do?” I searched her face for clues so I could carefully prepare what I would say next. As a co-director of a crisis pregnancy center, nothing was more rewarding than saving an innocent baby from the cruelty of abortion. However, I learned quickly that this was only the beginning of my job. The real work was offering tangible hope that would sustain parents through the birth and first important months of their baby’s life.
Smiling through missing and rotting teeth, Laurie said, “I’m going to keep this baby.” Relieved I began gathering information from my desk drawer to give her for government assistance and prenatal care. “. . . I have three kids, but my mother had the social services take them away. She told them I was a crack head. I’m not, you know. As soon as I get enough money to get an apartment, I’m going to get them back, and I’m going to keep this baby even if Michael doesn’t want me to.”
“Who’s Michael?” I asked guardedly. “He’s my boyfriend, but he’s not the father. You won’t tell him, will you?” Before I could say anything, she walked over to the office door and ushered Michael to a chair in front of my desk. He looked like he was her brother, about 20 years old, alarmingly thin with long stringy blonde hair and grayish skin.
With a worried frown, he introduced himself to me, “I’m Michael, her boyfriend . . .” “Michael! I’m pregnant!” Laurie abruptly interrupted in an annoying, I-told-you-so tone, “. . . and I am keeping it.”
Michael looked at me for help. “We can’t take care of a baby,” He said nervously. “Were both on disability.” Dropping his head and staring at the floor between his worn out boots, he said, “I’m legally blind so I can’t read. I can’t get a job. My father kicked me out when I was twelve for doin’ drugs, he won’t help us.”
“But Michael . . . ” she whined, pulling on his sleeve. “I want this baby. What about me?” Her need for attention far outweighed her love for him or her unborn child. She played coyly with him like a rat sniffing around a trap trying to steal the cheese before it snapping on her.
Again, Michael looked at me for an answer. He felt ambushed by his insecurities and affection for her, and I was quite sure that he suspected the baby was not his. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed too. All my well prepared answers and pamphlets couldn’t give him a reason to want her baby.
I decided to take a risk. “Michael, I’ve never said this to anyone before, but I believe the only one who can help you and Laurie is God.” I pulled out a small New Testament Bible from my purse and handed it to him. Laurie immediately tried to snatch it from his hand, but he held it out of her reach.
“Your situation may seem impossible, but God can help you. Just pray, you’ll see, he will lead you in the right direction.” For the first time Michael smiled and his sincerely illuminated through all the hopelessness in his life. “You know, a real nice old man gave me five bucks and a ride ‘bout a month ago. He said the same thing and said he would pray for me, maybe he was right.”
We prayed together and as they got up to leave, he tucked the little Bible into the back pocket of his tattered jeans. Laurie tried to grab it out of his pocket, but he refused to give in to her once again and planted a soft kiss on her forehead instead.
Love had found a way into his heart, even if it wasn’t hers for him. He had a new confidence about his future. I watched them as they walked hand-in-hand down the hallway to the exit, knowing the new life in Laurie’s womb was safe because there was hope in Michael’s pocket.
Years ago, my first experiences with counseling were at a crisis pregnancy center located in a hospital which was a non-activist, Christian organization call “Birthright.” It was very rewarding and inspired me to consider further education to become a Biblical counselor. The above is one of so many moving stories that has taken place at this wonderful center in Virginia Beach, Virginia. It is still open and actively serving God on behalf of the unborn today.
Blessings, dr.helena
For more information or to request an in-person, phone, or Skype web cam appointment for counseling go to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com or call 561-744-2011.
It seems that anxiety has become an acceptable, everyday, common feeling in our current way of living. The news, TV programs, movies and “word of mouth” (passing on our fears, problems or bad news that we hear about) play a huge role in promoting anxiety on a daily basis in our lives.
Instability in homes due to angry and dissatisfying marriages, disorganization and irresponsibility, and/or divorce is another. As well as hurried lifestyles which lack the basics of adequate nutrition, rest, relaxation, noise-free time and exercise.
An overlooked source of anxiety? A spirit of fear. If the enemy can get you to be anxious about something, then he has fulfilled his goals to get you to doubt God. Imagine doubting God everyday about something! If you’re finding that your relationship with God has stalled or faded away, anxiety may be the reason.
In His word God says, “Do not be anxious about ANYTHING.” Really? Doesn’t that seem like God is asking something absolutely impossible? Given the high levels of anxiety we are used to feeling every day, it does. But, think about it, would God ask us to do something that is impossible?
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
If you read this Scripture about anxiousness closely, you’ll notice there are remedies—prayer including asking and thanksgiving. (Of course *smack to the forehead*, God doesn’t just leave us hanging there without instructions! Note to self, must read “fine print.”)
One of the keys to being free from anxiety is “thanksgiving” (gratefulness, appreciation). Anxiety always causes negative thinking. Gratefulness is the opposite direction of that thinking process and the results are always positive (faithful) thinking. Either direction continually increases in its power to affect your heart and mind the more you practice it. Which direction would you like to go in?
So the next time you read or hear about all the details of a natural disaster like a devestating tornado or a “double dip recession,” before you start feeling insecure about what could happen to you and your family, begin to thank God instead. Thank him for your life today. Appreciate all that he has done for you starting with paying the price for your salvation and eternal life. Think about all the little things to be grateful for like lunch or air conditioning (okay, in Florida that’s not a little thing) that adds up to big things at the end of the year.
Instead of always being anxious about something, be grateful about everything and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
Blessings, dr.helena
If you interested in learning more about spiritual warfare, order my book Strike the Target! A Step-By-Step Spiritual Warfare Manual for Greater Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Health (428 pages, paperback, $23.99 donation) by going to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com/book
Website: http://www.drhelenaonline.com
New Age beliefs are a confusing and often subtle melting pot of ancient Eastern religious practices, humanism, witchcraft and Satanism. This includes all Eastern religions such as Zen, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, etc. and all Eastern practices such as Yoga, karate, acupuncture, scalp readings, fire walking, etc.
The New Age movement has blurred the lines of Christianity as it has permeated the church. Those who have been influenced and deceived by this movement believe in a “God consciousness” that all gods are one God and/or God is within us. You may have heard the latter statement and recognize that it is much like our Christian belief that God, Jesus and/or the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts. Do not be fooled, it is not!
No matter how westernized, harmless or popular they seem, involvement with cultic or occult persons, groups, philosophies, rituals or practices is a worship of another god and idolatry. (Yes, it is that black and white . . . and dangerous to dabble in!)
Just to make it clear, this would include all those who do not acknowledge and believe in the fundamental beliefs of Christianity, including the virgin birth of Jesus Christ, His teachings, His death and resurrection three days later, and His deity (Godhead); reconciliation through the blood of Jesus Christ and the Trinity, i.e. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as one and equally God.
Even for mature believers, it has become increasingly overwhelming to keep up with the growing number of cults and deceptive practices of those and the enemy who wants to lure us away from the true God. I think few of us could have predicted the deluge of television programs, movies, food and medicinal products, toys, games and books that would corner the market on spirituality today. The other day I noticed a large aisle at a major bookstore labeled “Teen Paranormal Fiction”!
It may come as a surprise to you that there are many cults and cult-like Christian churches that believe in Jesus. They believe that He was a “good” man, a prophet or one in the same as other gods. To be a Christian, just believing in Jesus is not enough. Access to the benefits and power to be redeemed is only though faith in Jesus as the Son of God who died on the cross for your sins and resurrected from the dead.
If this definition of Jesus as your Savior and Lord is not something you believe in and you have not prayed for your sins to be forgiven, please do not wait a moment longer! Pray the following prayer with a sincere heart:
Dear Heavenly Father, I believe in Your Son, Jesus, who was born of a virgin, died on the cross for the sins of the world and resurrected from the dead on the third day. Please forgive and cleanse me of all my sins, come into my heart, fill me with the Holy Spirit and be the Lord of my life. Thank You for saving me and giving me eternal life. In Jesus name, amen.
Stay on track by maintaining your loyalty to the person of Jesus Christ. Strive to really know and “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind” (Luke 10:27). Keep the Scriptures close to your heart and follow the words of Jesus in your daily life. These simple Christian practices will anchor your soul to the true God.
Blessings, dr.helena
If you interested in learning more about spiritual warfare, order my book Strike the Target! A Step-By-Step Spiritual Warfare Manual for Greater Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Health (428 pages, paperback, $23.99 donation) by going to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com/book
Most people, especially Christians, know about the importance of forgiveness. For those who have hurt or offended someone and want to be forgiven, making amends is a key step in helping the injured party and themselves realize the blessings of Christ’s power of forgiveness.
It is odd, but we really don’t talk about making amends much, if at all. Unless it has to do with a severe crime and the consequences of imprisonment or the death penalty, many people have no idea what it means or how to go about it in their everyday lives. The dictionary defines the word “amend” as “something done or given as compensation for a wrong.” Sounds simple? Maybe.
Making amends can be the tangible proof that a relationship can be better and it is worth salvaging. If we are sincere, it causes us to dig deep into understanding how our negative habits, behaviors and imperfections have affected someone. The goal is to rebuild trust that has been broken. To some degree, making amends causes discomfort and often requires sacrifice. On the up side, just one act of making amends can greatly improve our spiritual, emotional and physical health.
Think about it. What if you decide to make amends to God the next time you sin? Now, I am not talking about any distorted ideas of penance (for example: unusual fasts or other forms of deprivation), or self-punishment in the forms of false guilt and shame. What I’m talking about is just CHANGE!
Real life transforming amends requires all the practical and necessary steps it takes to change. That might mean getting the support of a counselor or joining a group, staying informed by reading books and articles, submitting to accountability and personal disaplines, or moving away from harmful influences and environments. Wouldn’t even one of these steps begin to transform your life and relationship with God with a renewed faith, humility and love?
Likewise, as you continue to take all the steps you need to help you change, it opens the way for a betrayed spouse to begin believing and trusting you again, or a hurt friend to be open to rebuilding the friendship. Real amends mends broken and wounded hearts with the tangible results of amazing personal growth and restored relationships.
Blessings, dr.helena
For more information or to request an in-person, email, phone or web cam appointment for counseling go to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com
There are three things that have no end to them – complaining, blaming and self-pity. There is no way out. No peace, no joy and absolutely no solutions. If you have any of these mind-sets, you are just stuck!
Complaining does not allow for problem solving to get started or a solution to be found. It is only a negative, repetitive report of the problem fueled by discontent and anger.
Blaming erroneously claims that someone else is the root of our problem, and only they hold the power to solve it. Getting stuck in blaming others renders us helpless and powerless to do anything.
Self-pity (which I believe is the worst of these three mind-sets) is an overwhelmingly gloomy feeling. If left unchecked, self-pity will spiral an individual into depression and distorted thinking about themselves, others and God. Self-pity is often accompanied by false guilt and, this may sound rather odd, but it is often a form of self-punishment.
An attitude change supported by trust in God and faith in his word is the only way to end complaining, blaming and self-pity. Begin the process with decisions which can lead to good problem solving by:
1) Being biblically proactive so that paralyzing fear doesn’t take over. Search out what the Bible has to say about your problem and what solutions the Word offers.
2) Get help! Be open to advice from godly counsel and encouragement by fellowshipping with others. “No man is an island,” as the old saying goes. We were not created to solve all our problems by ourselves. We are only a part of the body of Christ, and need other body parts to help us.
3) Apply the solution. It is one thing to know the solution to a problem, and quite another to actually follow through with using it. The answer lies in doing it.
4) Let your faith and endurance be s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d beyond what you may think is your limit. (Since this is a part of God’s plan for you, don’t worry you won’t break!) This is how our character improves, and we become emotionally and spiritually mature.
Don’t give up. S-t-r-e-t-c-h and believe that you’re turning point is right around the corner.
5) The best solution? Nip all complaining, blaming and self-pity in the bud! Don’t even start down these miserable emotional roads. They are never right or a solution, and just lead to much more of the same.
Blessings, dr.helena
For more information or to request an in-person, email, phone or web cam appointment for counseling go to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com
Just like you cannot escape the laws of gravity, there are certain behaviors, thoughts and feelings which govern our lives whether they are negative or positive, or whether you believe them or not. From the beginning of time, the follow 10 biblical principles* were created by God for successful living. (That’s right! From the beginning of time!!) Try to defy gravity by jumping off a building and without fail you will to crash to the ground. Respecting the laws of gravity will safely keep your feet on the ground! Likewise, believing and applying these 10 Biblical principles produce the peace, joy and success that all of us desire.
The Law of Reciprocity: Give, and you will receive (Luke 6:38).
The Law of Use: To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given (Matthew 25:29).
The Law of Perseverance: Keep asking . . . Keep on seeking . . . Keep on knocking (Matthew 7:7).
The Law of Responsibility: Much is required from those to whom much is given (Luke 12:48).
The Law of Greatness: Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant (Matthew 20:26).
The Law of Unity: May God help you live in complete harmony (Romans 15:5).
The Law of Change: No one put new wine into old wineskin (Matthew 9:17).
The Law of Miracles: Have faith in God (Mark 11:22).
The Law of Dominion: I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
The Law of Fidelity: Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones (Luke 16:10).
*Adapted from “The Secret Kingdom” by Rev. Pat Robertson
Visit my website at: http://www.drhelenaonline.com
Dear Dr. Helena,
I recently bought your book and am reading through. I am writing to ask you about a lying spirit and the seducing spirit. I believe I am dealing with these spirits at work through the behaviors of some of my co-workers.
I feel led to conduct “warfare prayers” using specific scriptures to deal with the spirits and then to pray for wisdom in dealing with my co-workers. They have caused me much problems but I believe I have my breakthrough and I am on the verge of witnessing it manifest.
Do you have any other advice?
In Christ, George*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello George,
It seems to me that you’re on the right track. Just keep in mind that in order for people to be delivered they must be willing and Christians. Even when someone does receive deliverance if their will does not easily yield (dying to self, the flesh) to Christ, there is always the possibility of demons returning. At the very least, they will launch a formidable battle to retain their stolen territory. Evil spirits usually don’t leave just because we want them to—that’s why it’s called spiritual WARfare!
When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, “I will return to the house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first . . . (Matthew 12:43-45).
My suggestion is that you keep praying until you see the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives replacing the negative behaviors. Don’t give up! Along the way, God will give you practical insights for helping your co-workers. As you probably know, God does not control or interfere with someone’s will, and neither should we. Although you can appropriately offer these individuals enough reasons (healthy boundaries, Biblical principles, consequences, information, your own Christlike witness, etc.) to want to be set free. Then deliverance will be possible and sometimes even immediate!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25).
Blessings, dr.helena
*Name has been changed to insure confidentiality.
If you interested in learning more about spiritual warfare, order my book Strike the Target! A Step-By-Step Spiritual Warfare Manual for Greater Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Health (428 pages, paperback, $23.99 donation) by going to: http://www.drhelenaonline.com/book
My book reveals the tools necessary for those who are looking for an answer to their problems, want to achieve liberty from curses and demonic influences, and want to be spiritual warriors who help others attain victory. Offering the reader a proven step-by-step method of deliverance prayer counseling, an in-depth understanding of spiritual warfare, and the keys to living an “abundant life,” this manual answers both common and complex questions.
All proceeds from the book go to Restoration Counseling Ministries to benefit those who would otherwise not be able to afford quality Christian counseling.
Visit my website at: http://www.drhelenaonline.com
Okay, I can see you rolling your eyes! 
I know, the word “codependent” and the theory is so tired, but if it weren’t still a huge problem in people’s lives counselors would not be referring to it so often. Did you know that everyone is codependent to some degree (no one is perfect!)? It’s just how much codependent traits control your life which signals a serious problem. Test yourself. If you have four or more of the following traits then at the very least you should read a book entitled “Love is a Choice” by Hemfelt, Minirth and Meier. Counseling would also be a great help to rid your life of these very debilitating, erroneous beliefs, habits and behaviors which sabotage relationships and success. . . .Yes, it is possible!
Blessings, dr.helena
THE TEN TRAITS OF A CODEPENDENT*
- The codependent is driven by one or more compulsions (this would include addictions to substances and addictive behaviors).
- The codependent is bound and often tormented by the way things were in their dysfunctional family of origin.
- The codependent’s self-esteem (and, frequently, maturity) is very low.
- A codependent is certain his or her happiness hinges on others.
- Conversely, a codependent feels inordinately responsible for others and driven to “fix” them.
- The codependent relationship with a spouse or significant other person is marred by a damaging, unstable lack of balance between dependence and independence.
- The codependent is a master of denial and repression.
- The codependent worries about things he or she can’t change, and spends much their time, thoughts and energy trying to change them them.
- A codependent’s life is punctuated by extremes and recycles instead of resolves their personal problems.
- A codependent feels empty much of the time and is constantly searching for the something that is missing or lacking in life.
(*Adapted from “Love is a Choice” by Hemfelt, Minirth and Meier)